Tuesday, May 24, 2011

What To Do???

As most of you know I have been working my tail off!  I work 2 full-time jobs.  I basically work 7 days and 87+ hours a week.  If I was trying to break a record then I would say those were some pretty impressive numbers.  But I'm not going for a record.  So those number SUCK!

But there is light at the end of the tunnel.  I have another "record" that is about to end soon.  As of tomorrow I will have gone 100 (see that number is popping up again) straight days without a day off.  It's just the nature of 2 full-time jobs.  When one job has a day off the other doesn't...and vice versa.  When that happens I'm happy because I can at least say I'm not working 2 jobs that day.  But the days off have never fallen on the same day... until now.

Memorial Day (here in the US) is next Monday.  It commemorates U.S. soldiers who died while in military service.  It is a very noble holiday and I don't want to take anything away from the MAJOR importance and significance the Holiday was create for.  But I now have a minor dilemma...

I'm trying to figure out something to do on my day off!  I know I can do the family thing. (whatever) :-) I could go play golf. (Now we're talking!   And before you judge... I will play golf at the VA (VETERANS Administration) Golf Course.  So that makes it OK for Memorial Day.)  I could have a cook out. (Really, it's more of a cook IN. We don't have a grill... unless you count the Foreman.)  There are just so many things I could do.  But I haven't had a day off in a while so I'm kinda at a loss on what to do.

I could go for loftier goals like solving the world food shortage problem.  I could work on Middle East Peace.     I could go skydiving.  I could go Rocky Mountain climbing.  I could go 2.8 seconds on a bull named Fu Man Chu. (Look.  Tim McGraw went 2.7 seconds.  So I at least gotta beat him!)  The field is completely open.  (I am glad, however, that I looked at my things to remember from LAST Memorial Day as I'm sure I would have forgotten to remember them in remembrance of Memorial Day... remember?)  So let me ask this...

If you were me, what would you do on your day off?  And if you don't want to give me some great ideas because you already know I'm going to go play golf anyway *ahem* then just tell me what YOUR plans are for Memorial Day.  (For my readers in other countries, just pick whatever random holiday you want that will give you a day off.  I'm completely fine with that.  I'm not grading and this doesn't count toward your final standings.  Consider this extra credit.)

Thursday, May 19, 2011

I'm not THAT old... yet.

I was looking over my blog.  I do that from time to time.  Not in a narcissistic kind of way.  More like how a person who plays sports likes to study film of the competition before the big game.  (OK.  Maybe with a little hint of narcissism.)  When you are an actor, you ARE your competition.  So watching your performances is like watching game film.  You watch to see what statement can be made better.  You check for moments the crowd really thought you were funny.  (You keep that!)  You listen for moments when the crowd wasn't so in to what you were saying.  (You throw that mess out! Not that I ever had ANY of those moments (narcissism).)  But in the end, you use those previous attempts (successes AND failures) to perfect your craft.

(Now, I'm not sure why I wrote the above paragraph.  It could have been the beginnings of a wonderful masterpiece of a blog (again with the narcissism).  But, really, it has very little to do with the theme of this post.  As a matter of fact, that whole paragraph is only there to provide a segue to a statement that could have been summed up with this: I have noticed something on my Blog.)

I have almost reached the century mark of followers!  (A lot of people have more followers but none will love you like I do. Granted, that sounds a little creepy... but it's true.)  Then I thought, "WOW! Almost 100.  That is great!  I should really plan something for follower 100.  But what could I plan?  More importantly, how could I tell who is #100.  People might cheat just to get the prize that Que puts out there.  It might be another 8 x 10 glossy of me.  (Those went over well last time.)  It might be a map of Wyoming (same contest).  (There are very few of those in print so it might be of some value one day.)  It could be my wife's dog. (Please, oh, PLEASE let it be my wife's dog!)  Why am I thinking about this so much?  There is no way to tell who #100 is anyway.  So this is really pointless.  Plus, I might not ever make it to 100.  So many things could happen over the next 17 years (time it will take to get 4 more followers).  But 100 followers would be cool.  100.   That's a pretty big number.  I mean, it's not like BILLIONS but it's still good.  Unless, of course, you are talking about age....

(And there it was.  My little trip in stream of consciousness lead me to another thought and an even worse segue than the opening paragraph.  I'm getting old.  It's a pretty simple thought with a lot of complex variables.)

I'm getting old.  My birthday is in a few weeks.  I really don't have too much of a problem with the idea of getting old.  Birthday's are just another day for me.  And, I have already accepted that I'm theoretically closer to my end than my beginning.  Everyday brings me that much closer.  And I'm fine with that.  It really doesn't bother me too much.  I figure before I get too old the world will have gotten hit by an asteroid, or we will have been attacked by aliens or even that the Mayan prophecy might be right and we only have a year and a have left to live anyway.  (One sci-fi movie has to eventually be right.)  So, I'm more concerned about the signs that tell me I'm getting old.  There are a few things going on that leave me with the feeling that age is MUCH more than a number and the person who came up with the opposing view of that must have been on "younger" side of the statement.

How do I know I'm getting old?  Well... There are the classic signs.  I'm starting to have more hair in my nose and ears than I do on my head.  I'm a little upset about that one.  And I'm not upset that my hairline is receding faster than President Obama's (pre OBL slaying) Approval Rating. I'm upset that it takes forever for me to shave my head bald.  (Who would have thought?)  I know that's petty.  But it really does take a long time.  There are a lot of products geared toward preventing hair loss.  But where are the products geared toward removing hair and having it never come back again.  This is a product that could help men AND women.  (My personal opinion...  No one has done this because it has terrible capitalistic value.  Even if you found enough customers, you wouldn't have any repeat business... whether it worked or not.  And in order to get it to sell you would have to package it with a diet plan or a Foreman Grill or something.)

I can also tell I'm getting old because I have a daily routine.  And I don't mean the going to work or school.  We all do those things.  (Well, most of us.)  But, I'm talking about when I get home from work I have a daily routine.  I usually get home right before supper is done. (Most wonderful wife ever!) But I come in, say hello to the wife and kids and then go straight to the bathroom!  I go in there to wind down from work.  I'm not disturbed (most of the time).  I can sit down and relax. (I work with computers with both of my jobs. So I'm not sure why I just enjoy the sitting.  Maybe it has something to do with cool and porcelain.  I'm sure there is a therapy support group just waiting to happen in there somewhere.)  When all is calm (as calm as it can be) and all is quiet (Ok, that's pushing it (not sure if the "pushing it" pun was intended or not)) it's time for the Sudoku!  There are times I'm completely done with the business portion of the bathroom break before I ever start with the pleasure portion.  I love me some Sudoku!  The book I'm working on right now has a few hundred puzzles and I have been working on it for a year and a half.  That's quality time folks.

After the Sudoku bathroom break, it's time for dinner.  The family eats together.  We talk about work.  We talk about school.  We fight with the kids for not eating their vegetables.  Then, I fight with my wife when she tries to make me eat MY vegetables. (Especially those stupid lima beans!  I would absolutely WASTE a Back to the Future trip in time just to go to Peru when they started farming that mess and punch the dude right in the face.  Farming that was something that should have never been done... ever.  It did permanent damage to the space/time continuum.  I know that is harsh but the guy deserves to be punched.  I would even take my DeLorean and do donuts through every single lima bean crop in existence before I took my 1.21 Gigawatts ride back home!  Sorry for the long aside.  I really hate lime beans.)

After diner, it's time for the kids baths.  Story time follows.  (Sometimes I even read the kids a story!)  Then it time to put the kids to bed.  After THAT fight it's quiet time again.  So what do we do?  Angry Birds.  (If you are reading this and know my wife, you may ask her about MY Angry Birds skills at your own risk.  You have been warned.  But when you ask her, please record the reaction.  I'm thinking of posting some YouTube material.  And that would be a good place to start.)  After my total domination of Angry Birds it's time to brush the teeth and go to bed.  That is my normal routine.  And nothing says OLD like a daily routine.

Here's the last reason I'm going to post as to how I know I'm getting old.  I'm always making references to songs just like my parents.  When I was growing up, all I would hear from my parents when I was listening to a song was, "Aw, that ain't nothin' but a James Brown song!" Or, "They just stole that song from Stevie Wonder."  And even, "I thought that was Gladys Knight until they started singing.  Now it just sounds like the Pips!"  And you know what... They were right.  There are few things new in the recording industry.  And the things that are new stink.  So all of the good stuff you hear today is just sampled or remade from hit songs of years past.  (Now if that little rant doesn't sound like my father then I don't know what does.  A lot of the kids' songs today really don't do justice to the songs of the 80s that they stole them from.  It's almost like the world didn't end at the new Millennium but creativity did. (If you don't believe me, look at the movie industry.  There are so many "reboot" movies taken from the 80s it's ridiculous! - Batman - Superman - A-Team - G.I.Joe (I could go one forever)))

My only saving grace to this is that at least I haven't made the statement, "as long as you live under my roof" blah, blah, blah.   Not that I wouldn't but the situation really hasn't presented itself.  My oldest will be a teenager this year so I'm sure I'm just a few months away from that OLD person staple.  Plus, the older I get the more I have to fight the urge to just NOT say those words.  I keep saying I'm GETTING old.  But I will announce that I AM old the day I say those words.  My fighting it will be over at that point and I can move on with my life... one foot in the grave and all.

In spite of everything you just read, I'm really serious when I say I'm fine being old.  It's the getting old that's the problem. (Do you believe that?)

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Perfect for ME

It is well documented that I love my wife.  She is my strength.   She is my rock.  She is my love.  She is my life.  She completes me. (OK. That last one is a Jerry Maguire reference but it fits!)  She does so much and expects so little.  I'm amazed everyday that our children are around her all of the time and don't even realize that they have a savior this side of divinity and don't even know it.  So on this Mother's Day I would like to speak for our children.  (I mean, they could speak for themselves but they really wouldn't know what to say.)

To mom: I love you.

To mom: Thank you for being you.

To mom: My life would have no meaning without you.

To mom: I appreciate you. I really appreciate you.  Without you there is no me.  You are the reason I am who and where I am today.

To mom: I love who you are and I hope you don't ever change.

To mom: I may not express myself enough (or at all), but you make me a better version myself.

To mom: I may not fully understand this but I know that you put YOU before ME.  You sacrifice(d) your dreams, goals, hopes and aspirations so that I may have mine.  You do (did) this without regard for yourself and without the expectation of payback or even acknowledgement.

To mom:  I am everything I am because of you.

To mom:  I want you to understand that one day we are going to butt heads because I haven't quite figured out yet that you know what you are talking about and that I should listen to what you have to say.  Until I do, I thank you for having the wisdom and understanding that I am years away from realizing.  It's refreshing to know that at least one of us has an idea about the ways things should be.

To mom:  And last but not least... Thank you for loving dad.  Without you, he would be lost.  He wouldn't know where to go or when to be there.  He wouldn't have a clue how to deal with everyday things that you do in your sleep.  He would almost cease to exist.  He would fold like a pair of deuces.  He would spend everyday wondering why GOD would allow him to live without purpose or direction.  He would stop living and start going through the motions of life.  He would become a shadow of his true potential and would never strive to be who he was meant to be.

Happy Mother's Day to "The Wife" and "The Mom".  You will never understand your worth to us.  There's not enough of anything in the world to replace someone who is the corner piece of everything.

I love you. And so do they.