Friday, October 9, 2009

The Family Dogs

There are 2 dogs in our immediate family.  There is my dog: Smokee.  He is a red and white Shih Tzu that comes from a very good line of dogs (3 champions in his pedigree).  He is a very lovable and *quiet (most of the time) dog.  He wasn't hard to train.  He can do a few doggie tricks like sit, speak and lay down (I know that proper English would be for me to tell him to lie down.  But he's a dog so he doesn't know proper English).  He *doesn't beg for food nor *does he eat "people" food if I lay (see... proper usage of the word lay) it on the floor.  He doesn't eat or chew on objects that weren't made for a dog (minus a friend's aglet (thanks to my oldest I know what the plastic tip of a shoestring is called)... sorry Spuds.  I will buy you another shoestring one day).  He has too many wonderful qualities to post them all.

Now some of you might have noticed that I added a few *'s next to some items.  That means there are moments when he's just being a dog.  For example the quiet part.  He IS quiet most of the time.  But if you leave him closed off from people like in another room with the door closed, he goes nuts until you open the door.  That's only because he isn't tall enough nor does he have the thumbs necessary to open it himself.  His barking is just to remind you of that.  The other stars are all together different.  He didn't beg for food or eat people food when he was younger.  He has somehow learned this and other BAD behaviors from... the other dog...

Enter my wife's dog... Pal.  I wish I could tell you what breed he is but even the Vets don't know what to call him (I have made several suggestions on what I want to call him).  He is pretty much red all over (like the devil) and only 3lbs heavier than my dog (even though he acts like he's Godzilla toward my little Smokee).  If you have ever seen the movie "Marley and Me" then you would recognize him as a pint size Marley.  If you haven't seen that movie then he is a mini Cujo (If you don't know then YouTube it)!

This dog will eat anything.  I have the Vet bills to prove it! He has eaten several items that should have killed him by now, like: a pound of chocolate from Godiva (Dead); a boot from one of my daughter's dolls (got lodged in his intestines... DEAD); a bag of balloons (although this could have killed him, it was by far the funniest thing he has eaten.  He had multicolored poop for days).  That was just to name a few things!  And he has survived them all!  So I'm convinced that the dog is going to live to be 300 (in dog years) just so he can see me go first.

If we don't watch him, he will walk right over to the kids and take whatever food they are eating.  He's also a big BRUTE even though he's a scaredy-cat!  And if he does something wrong, you can't yell at him or you run the risk of him just peeing right where he is.  Then, you can't yell at him for that because you run the risk of him running and peeing at the same time.  So the lake of pee now becomes a river of pee that winds around the house like the Colorado through the Grand Canyon. So there have been a many of times where I have had to just stand there and bite my tongue (instead of calling him some of those creative names I talked about earlier) and just watch him pee.  And he always looks at me with that look like, "It's either this one spot on the carpet or the whole carpet.  You decide.  One way or another... I'm peeing!"

And here is the end all, beat all....  I gave that dog to my wife as a present.  So I can NEVER get rid of him.  I guess I will have to use some of his quirkiness to fill some pages on my blog.

At least he's not a cat!