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Monday, August 2, 2010

Sometimes Life Just Gets in the Way

I just wanted to let my usual readers know that I have not stopped blogging (or reading everyone else's blog).  This past week we have received a bad case of the "lifes".  You know what I'm talking about.  You are walking down the street minding your own business and then out of the blue someone gets a case of the lifes.

This particular case of the lifes was call surgery.  My wife had surgery a few days ago.  I'm not going to get into the details but the whole ordeal has made me change my wife's name to "1-percenter".  The reason she is known as the 1-percenter is because the post surgery issues she is having happens to only 1 percent or less of the patients.

The surgery itself went fine.  But the recovery has been everything but fine.  We were told that there was the chance of 2 possible complications but each of them has a 1 percent or less chance of occurring.  So the odds of getting one are slim but the odds of getting BOTH probably have the same odds as getting struck by lightning... in a snowstorm... in a desert... in Australia... on the 29th of February.  (Maybe not that slim but pretty close.) But my wife won the lottery and got them both!

Of course there are other things going on in life that take your focus away from some of the things you like to do.  Sometimes good.  Sometimes bad.  But no matter what you are doing to occupy your time and keep your spirits up, watching someone you love suffer is a horrible experience.

I know others have it worse so I'm not complaining.  But I AM acknowledging the fact that when someone you love is hurting, you hurt too.  It can be as little as a paper-cut or a big as fighting a terminal illness.  You can't help but want to at least share the pain if it meant the person you love could have one moment without it.

I know my wife will be fine in a few days.  I have no worries.  But for a little tiny moment of selfishness... She really needs to stop hurting so that I will stop hurting too.

:-(

22 comments:

  1. First of all let me say, praying your wife totally recovers and is back in the swing of things.
    Secondly, it is very selfish for you to want her to stop hurting just so you will stop. I think you have accurately assessed your feelings though. Sometimes as humans , we don't do such a hot job at that. I will always have a story I'm not so proud of but feel it has taught me a very important lesson. Okay, I'm 17, a senior in highschool, president of Speech and Drama, short stop of the Shelbyville Lady Eagles( yes we were Lady Eagles.. they changed it a couple of years later), and fixing to walk the graduating class of 1993 but my Daddy was sick. He was always strong and handled a lot of things I only later came to know. He had the kind of lung cancer you have a small chance to recover from but we were opptomistic. He was put on a ventilator, totally coherant and willing only because the doctors said" Mr. Stovall, we are gonna zap that cancer and get your lungs better so you can breathe." We put our trust in those doctors.. or so I did! One day at ICU in Baptist hospital I said something that I to this day wish I could take back. It was selfish 'cause I was tired of hurting too. I said "Daddy, you can get better and get off this thing if you wanted too." The pain and anger in his eyes I'll never forget. I was hurting and selfishly outlashed. Instantly I was remorsful and appologized. I only prayed I made up for it in the last months I spent with my Daddy. I told him before he became unresponsive " you know i love you ...right?" An affirming nod was all I needed from my Daddy. I hope noone makes the mistake I did, but I'm sure they will.
    Sorry I got all serious and such!:) I was an oncology nurse before I started staying home and having babies. Knowing I can't talk Avery into a #3 baby, I will probably go back to oncology once kids get into school so I can help those people hurting. I always tell my story to those families to make sure they don't "be me".
    Thanks... you made me cry.:)

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  2. I sure do hope that her recovery gets back on track quickly. Sounds like a rough time for your family right now. Good luck to both of you.

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  3. I hope your wife is better soon. I'm not good in those situations because I just want my loved one to be well. "Not happy" I can deal with better than "not well." Not well scares me more, I guess, because it takes time to heal and you can't just "cheer" someone into being healed.

    Keeping good thoughts for all of you.

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  4. Oh Que, :( I hope your wife feels better soon! I know what it's like when your family has a "man down." Glad to hear she'll be okay in a few days. I think it's sweet that your hurting will stop when hers does. I don't think it's selfish necessarily that you want her to get better so you can too. When a family member is sick, it can be SO draining and stressful. You're not Superman. No one is. I'm sure you will continue to be there for her for as long as it takes, because you know how to love someone and are a great husband/friend, etc. But, such thing are still draining.

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  5. No need to explain bud. I pray that your wife recovers quite nicely and the rest of you are taken care of as well.

    Until then.

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  6. Que, I hope everything is fine with your wife! I'll be praying for her and your family!!! Take care!!!!

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  7. Oh, that IS tough!! Yes, it is the worst feeling to watch someone you love be in pain. It makes you feel so helpless, right? I'll be praying for you guys! Hugs!

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  8. I hope she's feeling back to her self soon.

    Darn that silly "real life" sneaking in and turning everything upside down. :D

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  9. I am so sorry that life is being difficult for you right now and I pray that your wife recovers quickly. :(

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  10. Get well soon Mrs. Que. Sending best wishes from across the pond.

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  11. Ugh...I hate it when I catch the case of the lifes...I seem to catch it more the older I get though...

    I hope your wife is back on her feet again soon! And that your case of the the lifes gets better!

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  12. No need to explain. Take care of your wife and kids. We'll be right here when ever you're ready to regale us with more of your stories! Tell Mrs. Que that we are hoping for her quick recovery!
    -ME

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  13. Hope your case of the lifes transforms into something more appealing soon. Sending well wishes and a speedy recovery for your wife your way.

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  14. Que so true. It does hurt us when others that we love hurt. I'm sorry you all have to go through this. I'm glad that you have each other to be there for one another though and also happy to hear the outcome looks to be good. Your family is in my thoughts and prayers. Best wishes and a speedy recovery.
    Mel.UT

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  15. hopefully your wife's recovery will be swift - hang in there!

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  16. Praying for a quick recover for your wife so you can all relax and get back to family as usual.

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  17. I'm very sorry to hear that. I'll start praying for you guys. Would some puns cheer her up? Read these to her -- unless laughing hurts. (But most of these are groaners, so they'll fit right in.)

    I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger.....and then it hit me.

    Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

    Did you hear about the guy whose entire left side was cut off?
    Don't worry; he's all right now.

    The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.

    The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

    To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

    When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.

    The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

    A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

    A thief fell into wet cement. He became a hardened criminal.

    Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.

    We'll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply.

    When the smog lifts in Los Angeles , U.C.L.A.

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  18. Aww, you've earned some serious points for this blog. Sorry to hear your wife's not well. Hoping she's up and around soon.

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  19. I want to thank everyone for their well-wishes and prayers. My wife is doing fine today. She went from feeling like she had been run over by a MAC truck to being run over by an SUV to run over by a Prius to (yesterday) run over by a scooter. I'm not sure exactly what kind of vehicle she feels like she has been hit by today but it's probably smaller than a breadbox. Thanks again everyone. I shall be resuming my blog soon because I'm SURE everyone is waiting for the next installment from Que (whatever).

    :)

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  20. I'm so behind on reading your blog. I'm sorry I missed this, but am so glad to hear she's feeling better now. You're a good husband, Toma. :)

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  21. @Dawn - That is understandable. You have WAY more important things to deal with. But thanks for dropping by! :)

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