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Friday, November 12, 2010

The Reeducation of America... and me

I was asked (in a non-nosy manner) why I took on a 2nd Full-Time job.  So I figure if THAT person was wondering the same thing, then someone else probably is too.  I have decided appease the masses and give a little insight into the World of Que.  Unfortunately, this section will be classified as the non-funny portion of Que World.  It's a pretty small section but has a HUGE impact.

Money, Money, Money
Where to start... Well, we have debt.  That's the simple truth.  We, like most American households, have enough debt that it makes us uncomfortable.  We have tried a lot of avenues to rid ourselves of the evilness of debt.  Some worked but none worked well.  So we decided to try OUR last resort.  And that was to increase our income by finding another job.

It's the dietary equivalent of trying to lose weight but not knowing the right way.  Then trying every diet plan under the sun.  THEN after having marginal success with some plans and complete failure with others, deciding to go to the last resort... a lot of exercise!  This is us putting aside a lot of other "luxuries" in life and getting on the dreaded financial treadmill and just running until we pass out... literally.

I personally think the debt mentality starts a lot earlier than we care to accept.  I started teaching our oldest daughter about debt and finances at the age of 7.  Some may feel that is early.  But I don't think it's early enough.  It wasn't like I was having her file my taxes.  I was just teaching her basic principles of money.  But not just that.  I was teaching her some of the basic principles of finance.  I think this is where the disconnect in my life started.

My parents didn't teach me those lessons.  I don't BLAME them one single bit, though.  They grew up poor.  Their parents grew up poor.  And their parents before them grew up poor. (You get the picture.)  So how do you teach your child about how to bake a chocolate cake if no one ever taught you how an over works?  Eventually, if you are to break the cycle, someone has to teach someone how to bake a cake!

Another place that I think fails is school.  And I'm not talking about all schools.  As a matter of fact, I think teachers should be one of the highest paid professions in the world.  But here is what I'm talking about with school.  School is supposed to help prepare us for life AFTER school.  One of the biggest (if not THE biggest) dilemmas we face after school is how to handle money.  So why isn't there a LOT more emphasis on that?  Yeah, we learn what money is and how to use (spend) it.  But most of us never truly learn how it works.  And that is the HUGE fail in my book.

If we really think schools are supposed to help prepare us for life, then this is something that should be taught almost every day and at almost every grade level.  Finances should be a reflex by the time you graduate.  We are a capitalistic society.  And that is true whether you agree with it's principles are not.  I just think that economics classes in school should have more "real world" value and not just a class that people glide through.  As important as money is (again whether you like it or not) economics should be ranked up there with reading, 'riting and 'rithmatic.  I think we as a society should be given better tools to deal with such a huge problem that affects everyone.

I know some of that sounded like a rant but it really wasn't meant to be that way.  I honestly believe that ultimately, we are responsible for WHO we are as well as WHERE we are in life.  So this is not a pity party "blame the system" post.  This is more of a "yes, most of us were failed but here's what WE plan to do about it going forward" post.  I do believe that it's sad when you live in a time when you feel having 2 full-time jobs a blessing.  But that's what it is and where we are at this point.

In case you are looking to buy me
something but didn't quite
know what to get.
For those of you who would think that I'm not doing this to have some of the the finer things in life... You would be WILDLY mistaken.  I would much rather get some sleep than to work extra hours to get the first flat-panel HDTV for the home.  We are really doing this so our family doesn't have to sacrifice one kids dreams for another.  We are doing this so that we don't ever have to rely on anyone (friends, family, govt) from now to well past old age (retirement and such).  We are doing this so that 5 years from now we aren't STILL telling our kids they can't go to the movies, to the store or even to a friends house because we can't afford it.  We are doing this so that emergencies don't cause us to have to decide whether to keep the house or the car.  We are doing this so that when my 3 girls get married off (in their 40s because they can't date until then) they will start life knowing how money works and knowing the best way to keep from having to work 2 jobs is to make sure you stay out of debt to begin with.  We are doing this to help break the "poor" cycle.  And, truly, we are doing this so that our finances start to have some resemblance of our character.  For me they haven't matched since college.  And it's LONG overdue.
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20 comments:

  1. well Que I could not agree more... and I totally agree about schools and what we are taught... I have used something taught in algebra maybe one time in my life but i count money DAILY... It drives me nuts that so many can not count change back to someone... have mercy that should be taught well as soon as kids are taught to tell the difference in a nickle and a dime... GAH
    i have worked as many as 2 full time and one part time job at a time... and it is hard to do but... it paid the bills... and with things as they are now ... my kids (they are supposed to be grown and out on their own) are about to lose their free babysitter who has been used and abused long enough... their ride to their jobs and everything else that good ole mom does for them and their kids.
    cause guess what mom needs to have a pay check coming in... GAH.
    anyway excellent post and I so agree.

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  2. I Love LOVE LOVE this idea!!!! I hate that you hve to work a 2nd job, but I love that you want to get out of debt, and that you want to teach your children so you can break the cycle. There are soooo many cycles that I want to break for my daughter!!!! GOOD JOB!!!!

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  3. You know our story and our situation. I am so glad you're ridding yourselves of debt before it swallows you up. And building that cushion is so important!

    You are so right about teaching personal finance. It's important to have an idea of how finance systems work and affect our lives, but the day to day finances is key to having a secure life. I share your wish that schools did a better job of preparing us in this way.

    Sadly our kids are learning through forced austerity how finances work. While that's helpful for making the understand the value of a dollar, we're now spending a lot more time talking about debt, investment, interest, savings, etc.

    I'm sure it's difficult in the short run, but the peace of mind you're gaining with each dollar of debt paid down and each dollar saved will be worth more than all the money in the world.

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  4. @Spencer - Thanks!

    @Laura - Yeah. It's the whole "real world" applications that get me. I just think some of the focus (in today's age with it's own set of problems and issues) is sorta misplaced.

    @H.E.A.T.H.E.R. - WOW! It takes a while to write out your name. lol. I with you on the cycles thing and well. There are several more I need to work on.

    @Lisa - I think we are getting more into the talking phase about debt and such too. It's almost time to start on the next sibling. I, as well as you, hate to do this under the current set of circumstances. But if the circumstances didn't occur, I can't say I would have voluntarily "prepared" my kids in such a manner.

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  5. I would not be working if my kids did not want to eat regularly, usually several times a day. My pay check is not extra, it is the grocery bill and the babysitter on the 2 week days I work, (hubby and the big kids watch the little ones on the weekends). I really need to finish my Comptia A+ and Network+, and maybe the ITIL v3 course. Then I can get a different job that pays more, once the little ones are in school.

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  6. @mommeeof10 - Greedy little kids!! Always wanting to eat all of the time. My greedy kids are exactly the same way. lol. I completely hear ya. We are a 3 income family and it really just pays the bills. But changes are a comin'.

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  7. getting in control of your debt is a massive step, i think you are great for doing it. It is a tough road, but worth traveling

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  8. "We are really doing this so our family doesn't have to sacrifice one kids dreams for another." - This makes you a great daddy (er, parents) - whether you know a durn thing about finances or not, you clearly know what matters in life.

    My dad was an idiot when it came to money (and a few other things...) and he passed that on to me. I know! I'm soooo lucky! Actually, I AM lucky because I married a very fiscally responsible man. Some women marry someone exactly like their father. I married the polar opposite in every way. Thank GOD.

    My point is this: If your girls learn it from you they'll be much better off than if they don't learn it all...or have to learn it from their middle-aged (because they can't date until they're 40) husbands.

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  9. Good for you. And good for teaching your daughters. I wish my parents had done that for me. I'm now learning the hard way. I worked two jobs until my first job gave me a raise, but anyway, it was exhausting. So really, I wish you and your family well with everything.

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  10. We are struggling also with just trying to get it all together. Taking on another job and cutting back will help a lot... but it is sooooo hard and mundane if you let it huh?

    America... land of the free? :)

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  11. honestly I think it is a great lesson to teach your kids.. thanks for letting us in your world a bit.. I'm trying to eliminate some debt myself...

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  12. I can't imagine working 2 full time jobs. I work a full time and a part time, and I always feel tired and like I have no free time. Props to you for doing it for your family though. I think schools should definitely teach more about money.

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  13. Thanks for sharing this. You should be very proud that you are taking care of your own problem instead of blaming others for your misfortune. My husband and I (and our two teens) live on one income. It is difficult at times but it also gives me the ability to stay home with my special needs son and that is worth more to us than what we miss out on. Don't forget to let your daughters see that the hard work is paying off - take them out to a movie once in a while - make sure they know that having dad away so much is temporary because kids have a funny way of thinking the family problems rest on their shoulders and they tend to blame themselves for things that are completely out of their control.

    As for the schools - well - best not get me started on that!

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  14. @Glen - It IS a tough process. We really started about 3 years ago. But it was only recently that we finally came to grips with the fact that we need extra income for a while to get this under control.

    @The Mommy - LOL! That's right. 40's the magic number. But, yeah... I don't want them to make the mistakes I did. I got into debt in college. So if I can at least stop it at that point they will be far better off than I was.

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  15. @Lilly - Thank you for your words. I think learning the hard way is highly overrated!

    @Shelle - Yeah, the second job (luckily) us a good job. I hate that it's necessary at this point but what can ya do? You can keep drowning or learn to swim.

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  16. @SY - Debt is EVIL!!! And with our combine efforts we can RID the world of this ugly menace. OK. That was a bit much. But you get the point. I wish you well on your quest, also.

    @Jill - You are right about the free time thing. That's one of the MAJOR problems with this new schedule. I'm not as tired because I didn't sleep much before the second job. But I definitely miss the family time. Even when we were doing nothing because we didn't have any money. lol.

    @lizziehoop - You are right about the kids. And I am looking forward to taking the 2 little ones to their FIRST bowling adventure. It will be at the beginning of the year and I'm sure there will be something to blog about there. :)

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  17. Totally agree with you. I have always wondered why some people know how to handle money and others do not. Does it taking having little to know how to handle a lot? Yes, how to handle money wisely SHOULD be taught, if not in schools, then in family meetings.

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  18. Hip Hip Hooray!

    (PS. what is it about those hips? Why don't we ever say Elbow Elbow Hooray?)

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  19. @dark_chocolate - I don't know why it is the way it is. I do know it has nothing to do with intelligence. I graduated TOPS in my class and still fell to the credit card companies when I went to college. There's a difference in being smart and being educated. And a little education on that subject would have done wonders for me in the long run.

    @Missy - Uh... Elbow Elbow Hooray takes too long??? Besides, I'm a MUCH bigger fan of hips than elbows.

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