SERIOUS SUNDAY
It has been quiet on the Que Family front. We have been staying out of trouble. And it's not that we necessarily WANT to stay out of trouble. We just don't have the financial backing to get INTO said trouble. With the current state of the economy, a lot of us find ourselves standing on the dock and the ship has long since set sail. Some have been able to move on. Some are still waiting for the ship to come back. Unfortunately, that ship will not be returning for most of us.
With everything going on, I had to ask myself.... W.W.D.D. (What Would Daddy Do?) I know that's a take on What Would Jesus Do? I didn't meant to steal it. (I promise!) But I had to take a new approach to the current set of circumstances. To be honest, I'm sure I could use Jesus' principles and words to help in these times since the words are timeless. But sometimes it's a little hard to relate to someone who wasn't married, didn't have kids (especially little ones), didn't have a mortgage, never made a car payment, didn't have student loans, still lived with his mother even in his 30s, and whose father COULD have bailed him out of any financial difficulty if it had ever become necessary.
Sure, he had his own share of problems. And none of them would make me want to change positions with him. But this isn't a life comparison. It's just a statement to show that, at this moment, I'm looking for someone to get an idea from who has been "there" and done "that". I love you, Jesus. You are the savior for my soul. But right now I'm going to look up to someone else for my particular set of problems... my father.
When I was younger, my family was very poor. So my father had a lot of the been "theres" and done "thats". But there is one thing that really stands out to me. When we were going through a particularly difficult time I didn't see my father that much for a few years. It wasn't because he was a deadbeat dad. It wasn't because he left all of his responsibilities. It wasn't because he didn't want to be there for his family during the tough time. It was exactly the opposite. My father took a second job to help pull us out of the trouble we found ourselves in. He bit the bullet for a couple of years and did what he thought was best for the family. That's where I am right now.
Living in a sea of debt and not being able to swim has created more than its share of issues. So I decided to tackle this issue as my father would. Starting this week I will have two employers. Honestly, it's going to suck pretty bad! But you won't hear me complain much about it here. As bad as it is, I will still feel blessed to have two jobs when a lot of Americans don't even have one.
But even with that understanding there is a fair amount of sucky things I will have to accept for a while. This decision will mean that I will be spending less time with my wife and kids. So, I will miss all of the gymnastics meets. I will miss all of the school meetings. I will miss all of the family dinners at the table. I will miss out on seeing my kids (especially the little ones) learn new things (my wife MUST record some of those). I will miss the putting the kids to bed at night. I will miss sleep. (That one won't be too bad though. The kids don't let us sleep as it is.) And I will miss taking the kids to see the grandparents.
There are a lot of other things I will miss but I don't have the time to list them all. This sacrifice now is to help insure a better future for my family. When you are in debt you don't get to enjoy all of those things I mentioned as much anyway. It's something you are always thinking about. Money (or lack there of) always makes its way into every aspect of your life.
So, this is how I plan to take control of the situation. This is where our family starts to get some of its freedom back. With every debt gone comes another opportunity to enjoy all of the other things that make life worth living.
I would tell everyone to pray for me because this will be a tough journey. But honestly, I would much rather you pray for my wife. I may be taking another job but she is the one who is making the real sacrifice. She has spend more time with our 3 crazy kids without me as a buffer. (I really didn't do much anyway so nothing will change.)
Ah, the real responsibilities of a parent. I wish you the best. Kudos to you on being the 'Man' of the family. Your children will be thankful for it in the future, keep your head high.
ReplyDeleteI'll be praying for you both! We have been down that road of debt, and it was no fun coming out of it, but we are all the better for it. It helps everyone gain perspective, and I think it has taught our kids a valuable lesson about debt. Hubby was working out of state for 8 months just after our #3 was born, and that was tough, but we survived. I say congrats on your decision to make positive changes in your life! You'll be calling Dave Ramsey before you know it. And someday you will be able to sleep more easily. ;)
ReplyDeleteTimes are hard for everyone, even in Italy. We are struggling too. I have never bought so many dried beans since the recession hit us hard! Slashed and burned my budget till it hurts just to look at the "available" funds. Let's hope things will turn around. I feel your pain!
ReplyDeleteOh, Que and Company. I know how Daddy's extra work hours feel in a family, and I'm going to start praying for you guys. It won't be fun, but since you're doing it to accomplish a specific goal...well, it still won't be fun.
ReplyDeleteOn the other hand: GOOD JOB! You're doing the right thing (says someone who knows nothing but what you've shared). I'm proud of you and Mrs. Que for tackling the hard stuff in life for your family's future good. Keep going!
What is your new job? (Unless that is classified information.)
Good for you buddy. I'm in similar with you. I don't have two jobs, just the one, but I have to work OT. OT 10 hours a week,is better for us because I will make more than either my wife or myself working a PT 20 hours a week. It stinks.. Because I can work up to 70 hours a week sometimes.. And I'm tired, I don't feel like talking.. I think I'm failing as a father and a husband. I can't get things done around the house. But it's a temporary sacrifice we have to make if we want to get out of the funk we put ourselves into .
ReplyDeleteit should be temporary for you as well. only you can decide how temporary.
keep the faith bud. that will get you through it..
yeah that is exactly what jesus /daddy would do... followed you here from carrying a cat by the tail... you will be in our prayers your wife and children as well... and i will add you to my blog roll... You have been warned LOL...
ReplyDeleteno seriously good luck and post when you can I love your grandma stories.. she sounds very much like my mother in law whom we all miss terribly.
You would be surprised how much you just being there, is you doing something. Good luck. It's gonna be hard, as you already know. :)
ReplyDeleteGood for you to 'man up' and do what needs to be done. Things are tough all over but very few people seem to be willing to really attempt to fix their situation. Make it a temporary thing - set a goal and then give up the 2nd job once you reach it. Your wife will adjust - she might go off on a rant once in a while (I speak from experience!) but she will find a part of her that she never knew existed and be able to deal with the homefront (for the most part) on her own. It probably wouldn't hurt to buy her something nice when things have leveled out a bit :)
ReplyDeleteDaddies teach by example and you are doing a great job. I remember going with my father to a couple his "extra" jobs. Sometimes it was sweeping the VFW Hall. Other times it was sheetrocking homes. Looking back, I realize that we were probably more a hindrance than a help when he had to bring me and my siblings along. Even so, he taught us so much more than how to handle a broom or mud a nail hole. We learned that when times are tough, you do what you have to in order to get through them.
ReplyDelete@Tit for tat - Thanks! Sometimes you just have to do what needs to be done. It will be tough but the payoff will be worth it.
ReplyDelete@Shana - Yeah, I getting Dave on speed dial. I'm going to set him on the #9 since I don't use it that much. That way, when the day comes, I can hold the 9 button down and yell, "I'M DEBT FREE!!!" at the top of my lungs.
@Tammy - I know you are right. But I have to draw the line at beans. I think I'm the only one in the house who doesn't like them. :) There are just some things not worth sacrificing.
ReplyDelete@Missy - Well, since you asked. :) My top secret mission is to work Tech Support for the XBOX 360 Live. It should get interesting.
@Eric - I wish OT was offered at my first job. I would have taken it in a second. That's the reason for the second job. Thanks for your words. I keep telling myself it is for the best right now. I can't wait until I see the results and start believing it.
ReplyDelete@Laura ~Peach~ - Thanks for following me over. I might have to tell another grandmother story over here on my blog just for you.
@aurora's cross - Thanks. I'm sure it will be tough. But the backup plan was to put the kids to work... and my wife didn't like that idea. :(
ReplyDelete@Lizziehoop - That sounds like my plan. Have you been reading my notes? Were you listening in on my speech to my wife? Strange... :) I might have to post a blog about what I should get my wife, though. That's the toughest part of the plan.
ReplyDelete@SandyAnnDee - That's the way my father was (and is to this day). He did have 2 jobs for a while. Now he takes on odds and ends jobs when he has time. He will probably do it even when he retires. Hopefully I will show (and tell) my kids that the best way to get out of debt is to never go into it to begin with. I have been working with my oldest. The 4YO is next! :)
a tough decision and a heavy one - but one that has to be made. It will be tough for you and you already know how it feels for the kids, but this will all be OK in the end. You will undoubtedly make every moment that you have with your family count and in the end it will be worth it.
ReplyDeleteIt takes a very strong and decent parent to take on this role for their family - I think it makes you a very good role model for your kids.
@Glen - Thanks, Glen. We have been fighting this decision for a while. End then end, we do believe it is for the best. I guess time will tell.
ReplyDeleteYeah, maybe you can't relate to Jesus in this specific situation, but I hope you can find peace and comfort in his promises. (Isaiah 29:11, 54:10, etc.) Sometimes, that is the only thing keeping me going when I barely have enough money in the bank to get me through the month AND knowing that my car needs repair. So I remind myself that God has always taken care of me and will take care of me now...will be praying for you, so you will get out of debt as soon as possible and have the strength to endure those tough times.
ReplyDelete@dark_chocolate - Yeah, I don't think Jesus would have a problem with me following my father on this one. :) Thanks for your words. Debt is an evil thing that a lot of times we put on ourselves. So my goal is to purge this evil beast and come out with a stronger (debt free) family.
ReplyDeleteGood luck Que.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was little I remember my dad used to come home from work, unload his tools (he was a plumber), load the fruit and veg he had brought from the local market and set off again doing a fruit and veg round. I would rarely see my dad and we never had much but I will always remember my childhood with great fondness for I always knew my parents loved me dearly.
You're a great man Que!
Good luck - I'll be thinking about you and your family with your new endeavor. Hope you still find time to post - you are one of my favorite bloggers!
ReplyDeleteAre you kidding?! Dads, for all I complain about my husband, help out more than they know just by being there. It allows us Mothers to utter the three words that save our sanity time and again. "Ask ya Father."
ReplyDeleteThen there's bed time. Any candy loving Mother who doesn't want to share, knows that story time is when to get the head start, because candy wrappers can not be heard over Mog and Bunny.
Then there's the novelty factor. Because the kids see Mum allllllll week, it's more likely to be Dad they jump on in painful places at 5:30am on a Saturday.
Hang in there and good luck with the second job.
Quality over quantity time can be just as rewarding. Just be sure to show the girls you love them with actions and words more than with material possessions. Then they too can ask WWDD.
@Spencer Park - Luckily growing up, my father only had to do this for a couple of years. But I agree with you... As long as I continue to show the kids (and wife) that I love them, we should be fine.
ReplyDelete@Lisa - Thanks! I'm not sure how it will affect my blogging. Only time will tell. I love to blog so I will have to make sure I make it a priority.
@belindasbaubles - I must work on the quality over quantity. I need to get my list of things to do on the precious moments when I'm not working one job or the other.