More From the Dad By Trade Archives

GOOD MORNING EVERYONE!!!  I'm posting more from the Dad By Trade Facebook Page.  I'm still working on the Google+ Page.  It's a little bit of a change.  Once all of that is taken care of I will have to post some new stories.  But until then, here is another post from the archives.

1. I am 100% convinced that the Terrible 2s is a disease that affects the whole family. This is not something that needs to be taken lightly. I'm going to search for a charitable organization that is dedicated to the destruction of this evil menace to society. Wish me luck. My family's sanity might depend on it.
2. The 2YO is REALLY taking this Terrible 2s thing to the max. And now she has added on the fact that she only wants MOMMY during these tantrums. At first I was a little bit upset. Then I thought... She's yelling, kicking, screaming, falling and hitting everything in sight AND she doesn't want to have anything to do with me during those times...
   Wish granted!!!Sorry, MOMMY! 
3. 1.5 hr long movie with appropriate ages = 1.5 hrs.    1.5 hr long movie with a 2YO and 4YO... 4 hrs and 37 minutes.
4. Fishing the bead out of my 2YO's nose this weekend felt like I was playing that old game OPERATION (complete with tweezers and sounds). Does anyone else remember that? She didn't cry so I must have won!
5. After disappointing my 4YO when I told her we couldn't go down the wrong street so she could see some Christmas lights she asked, "Can I drive next time so we can go see the Christmas lights?" She was very convincing so I might just let her.
6. Can someone remind me again why I'm doing this potty training thing while my wife is over 200 miles away? It looks like a carpet cleaning is in my future.
7. In today's high-tech society, why can't we create a baby monitor that can filter out general whining and allow only legitimate crying through the speaker? There has to be software for that. And if not... there should be!
8. Our house is much quieter when the kids are playing together. And by playing together I mean when the 5YO is bossing the 2YO around. The loudness comes when the 2YO has had enough. How dare she have independent thought.
9. Me: Hey, Lyndi. What do you want for lunch today?
   
   Lyndi (The 6YO): Ummm... Pixie Dust.
   
   Is this some 6yo slang I need to worry about?
10. My middle child is acting more and more like me every day. I will have to take some time to figure out how much of a blessing or curse this is.

Improve On Silence

I stopped writing for a while because I read a quote (from SOME famous dude who lived a long time ago) that I shouldn't speak unless it improves on silence.  I couldn't decide if that meant BLOGGING as well. Then months later I thought about it...  they didn't even HAVE blogging back then!  So, surely, he couldn't possibly be talking about blogs!  

I'm thinking of working on a few short posts.  But in the meantime I've decided to share a few posts I've made on my Dad By Trade Facebook page.  If you are a Member of my page then you might have seen some of them.  If not, then this is ALL NEW STUFF! (I'm also going to start working on my Dad By Trade Google + Page!)

1. Almost 2 years old and trying to dance on tables. I think we need to have a talk.
2. Can divorce papers be served on the grounds that your spouse ate your banana pudding?
3. My 4-year old wanted to put me in timeout because I had to go to work today.
4. My little one just threw a toy cooking pot at the dog and bopped him on the head. Now I'm torn as to what to do because she hit my wife's dog and not mine. And I don't even like that dog. Oh, the parenting decisions I have to make. 
5. There really should be a place to leave 4-year olds and pick them back up when they are behaving correctly. My wife still refuses to let me put the kids back where they came from until they are done. A couple of them could use a little more time in the oven.
6. My 2 little ones fight a lot. I get the feeling that at one point in my life they are going to ask me to pick sides. And since that is not right for a parent to pick sides between kids I'm going have them write an essay entitled, "What I Plan to Do With My Parents When They Get Old". I will let the essay choose the side for me.
7. Words for today: When your kids repeat something you say, encourage them to choose their statements more wisely than yourself. When your kids repeat something your spouse says, encourage them to repeat it over and over again... especially in front of the grandparents!
8. When kids are being kids it makes it a lot harder for adults to be adults.
9. Our 4YO has decided to celebrate the 34 days of Halloween. For those who have never heard of this elusive holiday... She has started wearing her Halloween costume a full MONTH before the actual holiday. As soon as she gets home from preschool the clothes come off and the costume goes on. She even sleeps in the thing.
10. I would like to apologize to the world. My 2YO just single-handedly finished off the ozone layer. That smell she just produced was military grade!