Sunday, June 17, 2012

I lost someone yesterday

If I was a real writer then I would probably have the words to fill the empty page here.  But, I'm not. So the words don't hit the page as quickly and as precisely as I would like.  I really just keep looking at the screen thinking it's going to magically fill with all of the jumbled up mess that's up in my head.  But it's not.  I imagine my mind is at the same loss for words that my mouth shares.

I lost a good friend yesterday.  His name was/is James Pointer.  He was not only a good friend but also a great person.  So my loss is the world's loss as well.  His infectious smile meant that you couldn't be around him without smiling too.  And though is physical stature was a little intimidating his demeanor was nothing short of a teddy bear.  He was genuine in that what you see is what you get.  He was fun to be around.  He never met an enemy.  He never said a negative word behind anyone's back.  He was just the kind of person that made you feel like you were a better person just having met him.  So his untimely passing will be felt by a LOT of people.  Probably far more than he could have ever imagined.

I do have one major regret, however. Though he and I talked, chatted, messaged and even saw each other semi-regularly, he never got to see my youngest.  This is really sad for a couple of reasons.  The first reason is that she's almost 4yo.  Surely, over the last 4 years we could have found time to make this happen. It is even sadder when you look at the second reason.  He was a guy who LOVED kids.  That's pretty rare.  Most men LOVE their own kids.  Most men will tolerate other people's kids.  I don't mean that in a mean or negative way.  I'm just stating a fact.  But James truly loved all kids.  That's just the kind of person he was.  He always wanted his own children but that, sadly,  never came to be.  So, he basically adopted every child he met.  And he passed away without me allowing him the opportunity to adopt my little one.

So, James, wherever you are I hope you have access to the internet because I'm going take this moment to show you what she looks like now and give you the opportunity to adopt my little one.

James... Liana.  Liana... James.

There is a lot more I want to say but I'm not sure I'm ready to verbalize it (or write it).  So I will just leave it at this...

I will miss you, James Pointer... Rest in the words of how you used to end every single phone conversation with me: