Google+

Pages

Showing posts with label hiking. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hiking. Show all posts

Friday, October 8, 2010

Man-Camp 2010 - The Solitary Exodus (The Final Chapter)

So, it was the morning of my departure. I slept surprisingly well considering the "root" problem I dealt with the previous night.  The foam pad helped but the ROOT would not be denied.  It had an agenda and it wasn't going to let a little padding stand in its way.  Personally, I also believe it knew I was leaving that next morning and that made it all clingy.  You know how roots are.

I rose to the COLD morning air.  The previous frost warnings almost proved to be accurate.  In my professional, meteorological opinion, I would guess the temperature was about 1 degree ABOVE hell freezing over.  Which is warmer than I had expected it to be.  So... bonus.  But the area wasn't going to warm up simply because I was starting MY day so I got up and started getting ready.  I was even able to skip the first step in the old man morning ritual because my bladder was COMPLETELY empty from the night before.

The Scoutmaster had gotten up a little bit before I did because he had a dying fire to tend to.  He stayed true to his goal and only had to light the fire once when we arrived.  There was also firewood leftover from yesterday's episode of "Who Wants to Be a Lumberjack?"  So with his skills and the available resources he was able to revive a weak pile of embers to the mighty inferno it once was not even 6 hours earlier.  I let him finish that before I got out of the cold tent though.  In spite of popular belief, I'm not an idiot.

The campsite also began to wake up with the fire.  It didn't take long for the sound of the burning wood to change the site from a freezing cold ghost town to a slightly warmer (yet still freezing cold) ant farm.  People started moving around and that signaled the beginning of the day.

I was leaving out that day but before I got everything together I ate breakfast.  The morning's breakfast was an MRE (Meal, Ready-to-Eat) like all of our meals.  Mine in particular was Meatballs in Tomato Sauce. (I'm not completely sure on that fact.  All I know is that it was red and had meat in it.  So really it could have been any one of 50 types of MREs.  But I won't complain because it was a LOT easier to carry those down the mountain than the bologna and hot dogs we tried to carry down on the trip before this one.  That is a 10-Part series!  I will spare you all that one).

MREs are field rations provided by the US military for its service members who are in combat or are in other field conditions where regular food is not available.  So I was a little concerned to see that mine contained ingredients to make a French Vanilla Cappuccino.  What???  Not that I'm opposed to an MRE having French Vanilla Cappuccino.  I just can't understand a combat situation where someone once said, "You know what would make this lovely meal complete? ...French Vanilla Cappuccino.  Now, hand me my rifle.  The enemy is advancing."

After eating my breakfast (minus the Cappuccino) I got my gear ready for the trek up the mountain.  My pack was MUCH lighter now that the MREs were gone.  I did pack one with me so that it would be one less the others needed to worry about when they left the following day.  (I left a day earlier than the others because I was working on a business idea that needed my attention.  If we get to go next year, I will make sure I get to stay the whole time.  I wouldn't want that root to miss my back too much.)

Because it was cold I was originally going to wait until it was closer to noon leave. But I knew that it was going to be a tough 4-mile hike up the mountain so I would get plenty of warmth simply from the movement.  With that, I put on my pack, retrieved my number 2 pencil and (though I made fun of it) asked if I could keep the little knife for protection on the hike.  I was given the security clearance necessary to possess such a powerful weapon. (They don't just let ANYONE carry those things!)  My friends had also been debating for 2 days on whether to walk up with me so I wouldn't go alone but I finally convinced them I would be fine. (I have awesome friends!)  They reluctantly and with extreme reservation agreed.  (See?)  And the journey alone began with a few appropriately placed fist bumps, hand shakes, hugs (yes, hugs) and simple good byes.  I would have left them with an even more appropriately placed gas-plosion but I really had to go to the bathroom at this point.  So in the end (pun intended) the joke would have been on me.  Literally...

The hike up the mountain lasted about 2 hours.  It was a lot easier than expected because my pack was MUCH lighter on the way out because the food was eaten.  But still... 2 hours is a long time to be walking alone on a mountain trail.  The entire hike I saw 3 people.  There was a guys hiking down alone (idiot) and a couple who were going to be out just for the day (I assume) because they didn't even have packs.  So that left a lot of time to think.  Especially random thoughts like...

1. I noticed that there are a lot of places in the Smoky Mountains that may received one direct ray of sunlight a year.  And yet, the mountain chain is teeming with vegetation.  That made me think... People should be like that as well.  Even if life dumps on us every day of the year except one,  we should find a way to use that one day to give us the strength to last us until the next "one" day.

2. Which hand should I use to hold the walking stick and which hand for the knife?  If I were to get attacked by a pack of Ninja Bunnies, which weapon configuration would be most beneficial. (If you have seen "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" you know this is a distinct possibility.  If you haven't, you need to.  But I will warn you it IS a cult classic.  So you will immediately LOVE it or HATE every minute of it.  There is no middle.)

3. I wonder how many times this theory has been tested: If you and your friends are being chased by a bear, it doesn't matter if you are the fastest.  You just have to make sure you are not the slowest.

4. Man... My wife would HATE this whole multi-day hiking/camping thing.

5. Half way up the mountain I couldn't help but think to myself, "You know what would make this lovely hike complete??? ... French Vanilla Cappuccino."

6. In the movie Star Wars, the bad guys were always trying to "force" people over to the Dark Side.  When this tactic stopped working, why didn't the PR department shift gears and start offering something different like free food or massages for the first 1000 people or even gift cards?  I'm mean, they owned everything at that point.  Surely, money wouldn't have been a problem.  They could have even done the old bait-and-switch like a lot of the multi-level marketing businesses do.   They would offer you a trip to some remote tropical planet if you just sat and listened to a 1hr presentation showing all of the benefits of the Dark Side.

7. If the federal government says they have my best interest at heart, then why don't they personally ask me what I think/feel/want so they will at least know what my best interests are?

8. This trip has truly changed me but I STILL hate shopping.... and cats... and stuffed toys with HUGE eyes.

9. I wonder if the people who named the "Titanic" had named the ship "I will never mock GOD and his awesome power whether I believe in divinity or not" would the ship still be around today.

10. I also thought about the fact that each step I moved forward took me one more step away from my friends.  With each step up the mountain, if something happened, I was THAT much farther away from those who do anything to help me.  With each step I increased my chances of falling to serious injury or even death.  With each step I was leaving behind life-long friends.  And with life's uncertainties, there was a chance I would never see them again.

But it is all about perspective.  Because...

With each step I was one step closer to seeing my kids' smiles.  Each step brought me closer to seeing my beautiful wife.  Each step up the mountain was filling my heart with joy knowing I'm that much closer to hearing the sounds of my children's laughter.  With each step I could almost feel my lovely wife's touch.  Each step led me one step closer to... home.

All in all, the camping experience is one that I will enjoy year after year.  But to be honest, the best part of being away from all of the bad stuff about life for a few days is the coming home to all of the good stuff.  Without my family in my life it really wouldn't really be living.  I would just be going through the motions of life.

It felt good to be home.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Man-Camp 2010 - The Descent (Part 2)

Before I get to the descent down the mountain, there is a little housekeeping that needs to be done.  I was asked this but I didn't realize there was a difference.  In the Rocky Mountains (and probably EVERY other mountain chain) people drive to the base of the mountain and ASCEND the mountain as the first part of their hike.  When they are done, they DESCEND the mountain to get back to their vehicle.  The Smoky Mountains are a little different.  You drive to the top of the mountain.  That's where you will find your trailhead. You then descend the mountain to your campsite (in a valley).  When you are done, you ascend the mountain, get back in your car and then drive back down the mountain.  Weird... I know.  But that's the way it is.  You learn something new every day.

Now back to our regularly scheduled program already in progress...

We crossed the threshold of the trailhead.  So there was no turning back.  The Scoutmaster, The Dr., The Rookie and myself (with my baby backpack and #2 pencil) made our way to our old campsite.  It was going great!  The air was fresh.  The scenery was beautiful.  And the first few hundred feet were filled with excitement and anticipation!  Each step just as I remembered it almost 20 years ago....  Then came the next few hundred feet...  The steps were slower (even though we were going downhill).  The scenery didn't seem quite as important.  Something was different.  The next few hundred feet were the feet of discovery.  I found the "something" that was wrong.  It was sitting out on the trail staring me in the face.  I found the last 15 - 20 years of my life just waiting for me to catch up to it.  And those extra years were really asking me what the hell I was doing hiking down the side of a mountain without any preparation or getting in any kind of shape!  I had no answer.

All I know is that when I was a teen I heard crickets and birds on this trail.  Now, with all of us in our 30s (some farther in than others), the crickets and birds have been replaced with gasps for air, grunts from aching muscles and general uneasiness.  The trail was the same but WE were different.  And I don't know which one of us was a savior.  Some kind, gentle soul made the world a better place with just 2 words... break time!  We all rejoiced.  Unfortunately, you couldn't hear it because we were all out of breath.  But the good news is that before the hike started, I called this hike the 'no pride' hike.  That meant we put our manly egos aside and if someone needed a break we would stop.  No ribbing.  No poking fun.  Besides, when someone called for a break, we ALL needed it whether we admitted it or not.

After about 1/3 of the 4-mile hike (or about 1.32 miles (just guessing because there are no mile markers in the wilderness)) we started to get a rhythm.  We knew how fast to go and how far to go without pushing ourselves.  This trip was looking up.  Then something hit me on the head. At first I thought it was that same stupid bug that had been trying to get into my ear since the beginning of the trip.  (I really, REALLY hated that bug!)  But it wasn't a bug.  It wasn't even an insect at all.  I look up to try and figure out what it is.  Just as I did, another one landing on my glasses... SPLAT!  You've got to be kidding me!  It was a drop of rain.  And it brought ALL of its little friends to play.  GOD was making us earn this man-camp.

This was fine because it completed the Trifecta: The first trip down the mountain was in the snow (I wasn't there for that one).  The next trip was at night (an awesome story (wish I was blogging then)).  This last trip was in the rain.  It wouldn't have been much of a problem if I didn't wear glasses. (I actually wear contacts but the economic downturn meant you prioritize differently.  And contacts didn't make the cut.)  There were times I couldn't see the trail from all of the rain on my lenses, but I managed. As a matter of fact, we didn't lose a single man when I was trail leader.  So I considered it a success.

Another thing that was different on this trip was our memory.  I promise you we passed the same tree/rock/roots combination a thousand times.  This deja vu affect really plays tricks on the aged mind.  It caused one of us (not me) to claim every few hundred feet that we were almost there.  For those who haven't been camping this is the equivalent of the 'are we there yet' syndrome on long trips.  It actually got to the point (spawned by extreme exhaustion) to where I was going to attack if I heard it one more time.  The only thing that kept me from doing so was the fact that I was carrying a #2 pencil and everyone else was carrying a weapon of single destruction.  So I endured the constant torture.  But truth be told, I was thinking the same thing but I wasn't saying it out loud.  Every time I saw the tree/rock/roots combination I thought we were close as well.  But trust me... we weren't.

After 3 hours and 15 minutes we FINALLY made it to our campsite.  It was great.  We hit the trailhead at 4:30 PM and we landed on our campsite at 7:45 PM.  After such an ordeal, civilized people would rest.  They would sit on the ground and thank all that is holy for getting us there safely after everything we had gone through.  But we left civilization 4 miles and a few thousand feet of elevation away.  So the Scoutmaster says we need firewood and shelter.  That was code for 'I'm getting the firewood while you set up our tent.'  We got it and started to work.  He and the Dr. went to cut the firewood and the Rookie and I set up the tent.

This wasn't a huge deal.  I was happy to set up the tent.  I had done this before.  It was getting dark at the site and we needed to play to our strengths.  So they got the wood and we set up the tent.  They did an awesome job!  They got some great firewood.  Within 30 minutes we had a HUGE fire that was keeping us warm.  The  tent, on the other hand, was a different story.  The Rookie and I were working on a time frame.  The sun was going down so the clock was running.  We set that tent up in record time.  We were proud!  That was until we tried to get into the tent.  That's when we noticed it was facing the wrong way.  The fire was pleasantly warming up the back side of the tent.  Luckily, the tent manufacturers had US in mind when they were making the tent.  They knew that one day some idiots would set the tent up backwards and need to move it around.  So it was lite and easy to move... with 4 people.

We got the tent turned around the right way.  We got the fire going.  We changed out of our wet clothes.  The only thing left was to go to bed.  I know that's one thing I can definitely do.  So we picked our spots in the tent.  I was the second one to pick but I was LAST in the order that counted.  I picked the worst spot in the tent because there was root in my back (or side depending on how I slept).  I didn't complain because I'm not a complainer (in spite of what you are reading in my blog).  I just assumed that everyone else was sleeping on a root too because we were in the wilderness... the home of back roots.  The odd thing, though, is that there wasn't a tree for at least 15 ft.  What's the ROOT doing there to begin with?!?

The root and I finally came to an understanding.  We came to an agreement to live in the same space at the same time.  I knew it was going to be tough but that was the plan.  And the plan worked until a variable changed.  We had been trying to go to sleep in our isolated campsite for about an hour when I saw lights.  I'm not sure how many lights but there were definitely lights.  I decided to keep my mouth shut and see if I could determine what was going on.  We were in a campsite 4 miles from the nearest trailhead.  It had been dark for at least an hour and a half.  So why are there lights???

I was going to keep this quiet until I could tell what was going on but the crew was not as asleep as I thought they were.  Apparently, the Dr. was just as awake as I was.  The last time we came to this site we saw 5 people in 4 days... and NONE of them traveled the trail at night.  So this was pretty crazy.  So the next few minutes sounded like this...

Dr.: What is that?
Scoutmaster: What is what? (obviously just getting to sleep)
Dr.: What is that light?
Scoutmaster: It's just the campfire.
Dr.: That's not a campfire! (I agreed because I was facing the light and the campfire was behind me.)
Scoutmaster:  You are right.  Shhhhhhh....

At that point we all prepared for something moving toward us in the night.  I have to admit it was very exciting! There was a light coming toward us and it was something I was not prepared for.  We knew there was a chance for bears but not bears with flash lights.  So this was elevated into something serious (especially since the last time we came to this site we only saw 5 people in 4 days.)  Someone was making a midnight run into our camp.  What do we do next?

Here's the part where I wish I had a night-vision video camera.  It would have been a perfect scene for a movie.  We were all prepared for an impending confrontation and that's where the funny comes in.  The  camera would have panned to the Scoutmaster and would have seen him on one knee with his gun (completely licensed to carry (even in a National Park)) waiting on the intruder at the entrance of the tent.  The Rookie had his handgun in the same position waiting to backup the Scoutmaster.  The Dr. would not be outdone so he had his hatchet (capable of severing a limb with one swing) in the ready position in case someone tried to invade the tent.  And what did I have (just in case)... I had a baby knife.  Yeah... the small theme continued.  I had this baby knife waiting just in case the 2 handguns and a hatchet failed!  If there had been a camera here this would have been a funny sight to see. (Spuds would have been proud!)

Luckily for him (and us) the person was a good guy just getting a late start on his fishing outing.  So all was well.  But that didn't sit well with the rest of us who thought the campsite was going to be empty like it was almost 20 years ago.  We now had to share this site with someone.  And at least 2 of us wouldn't sleep because of it. The other 2 (with the guns) slept very well.  I know this because their snoring proved they didn't fear anything.  I just found it hard to sleep with a root in my back when there is a stranger in the midst.

Oh, well... I decided to TRY to sleep and worry about this the next day.

This looks like a good place to start Part 3.  Good night (or morning/noon/night depending on when you are reading this).  Come back for part 3 of the Man-Camp 2010 adventure.

Monday, September 6, 2010

Man-Camp 2010 - The Genesis (Part 1)

This past weekend, my friends and I restarted a tradition we had back in high school.  We decided to go back to our old camping spot in the Smoky Mountains.  We never really pinpointed the last time we made this trip but I would beg to say it was between 15 and 20 years ago.  And if I didn't learn anything else about the trip, I DID learn that a LOT has changed in 15 years.

First off, I'm not a seasoned camper.  When it comes to camping I'm about as comfortable as President Obama being the keynote speaker at a Tea Party Rally.  I'm also about as experienced as Sarah Palin is with foreign policy.  So you can see there are a few challenges.  But I'm very resourceful when I need to be and I have a lot of fun just hanging out with my friends.  So camping is a fun getaway.

Of course, being a guy, I waited until the last possible minute to pack.  I mean, we had only been planning this trip for 7 months.  But also being a guy, I didn't have much to pack.  I got everything I would need for this little trip ready in less than a hour.  I didn't have an actual hiking backpack because my friend was bringing one for me.  So I put everything in a laptop backpack (see... resourceful).  I said goodbye to the wife and kids and I was on my merry way.

It didn't take long for the first thing to happen that made me question the trip.  I got onto the interstate and start heading toward the Smoky Mountains.  I happen to look at my directional gauge and it was saying W.  Now, I wasn't GREAT at Geology but I do know my West from my East.  The mountains are in the east (from where I live) and I am traveling toward the sun (which is rising).  I guess that's another thing to add to the list of things to get fixed.  I'm not sure where that ranks with the Anti-Lock Brakes probably gone as well as the driver's side airbag but I would bet it's pretty low.  I have almost made a game out of it.  I want to see if I can get ALL of the warning lights on my dashboard to light up at the same time.  That may take some planning but I believe I can do it.

It's a pretty long trip so the night before I gathered some music.  I found some old CDs (even though using old and CDs seems rather redundant now) that I listened to years ago.  I have an odd variety in my taste of music I listen to from Hip Hop to Country to Rock to Pop to RnB (sometimes hard rock (borderline metal) and Celtic).... the list just goes on.  So these CDs are a hodgepodge (another word that I didn't realize was a real word) of junk I put together to listen to.  And, of course, it's all OLD music because I haven't burned a music CDs in years.  But I found 3 disks of music that kept my loud off-key singing company on this journey.

(I'm actually going to post a little mini-contest on this site to see who can guess the songs on the travel  CDs I was listening to.  I will give the artist and you guess the song.  After a while I will narrow the field down but adding the year the song was written.  Then if people still can't get it I will add the album it came from.)

After about 5 total hours of loud singing and travel (from Knoxville to Gatlinburg the traffic was evil) I met up with my friends and we got ready to descend down the side of the "baby" mountains.  My wife thinks they shouldn't even be called mountains because she lived next to the Rocky Mountains and the Smokys are over a mountain shorter than her precious Rockys.  My thing is they meet the minimum requirements for being called a mountain.  So no matter how SMALL something is, it still gets to keep the name by definition.  (And that goes for EVERYTHING.  It may be small but it should still be called what it is called... and not "funny" little nicknames. The little nicknames are not funny... ever!)

Speaking of small... My friend (who shall be named Scoutmaster) brought my backpack.  And I'm not going to complain too much because he purchased it.  So I wasn't picky.  But he pulls out his backpack.  It was a nice respectable, MANLY backpack.  It looks like he could pack his clothes, food, first aid kit, his wife, his kids and his truck in that thing.  The next person on this trip will be called the Dr.  His backpack wasn't as big as Scoutmasters but it was still impressive.  It was a NEW backpack so it was spacious and made of some of the newer high-tech material.  It was very nice.  The 3rd member of the crew will be called the Rookie because this was is first multi-day hike and camp.  But even HIS backpack was a larger one.

So Scoutmaster brings me my backpack.  And as I stated before, it was still called a backpack... by definition.  I looks like I could store a toothbrush and a Dora the Explorer doll... that's it.  (Good thing I left my Dora the Explorer doll at home.  It was a hard decision but it looks like a wise one!)  Again, I'm not complaining.  The way I saw it was a smaller pack is a lighter pack. Umm... I was wrong about that one too.  Apparently, I was the one designated to carry the lead (as in the heavy metal, Pb, on the periodic table) reserves to the campsite.  Because everyone knows you can't have a successful outing without ample supplies of lead.  I moved the lead around and was able to take my items out of my laptop backpack and place them into the backpack (thankfully) provided for me.

NOW, it's time for our hike to begin.  That was until the Scoutmaster asked, "Does everyone have their walking stick?" Silly me!  I didn't get a walking stick.  But a good Scoutmaster always has backups.  His walking stick was a LOG!  It was awesome.  It looked like something straight out of Lord of the Rings (even having metal bands around the top and bottom).  The Dr.'s walking stick wasn't as aged or as natural of a make as the Scoutmaster's but it was still very impressive.  It was a finely craft smooth chunk of wood with a thin piece of rope tightly wrapped around the top like spiral staircase covering the top 6 - 8 inches of the stick.  Just like the Scoutmaster's, this walking stick could be used as a walking stick or a weapon if a bear decided it was tired of talking politics and wanted to talk about cuisine.  The same could be said of the Rookie's walking stick.

But since I didn't bring one, I was at the mercy of the "what's left" pile.  And just like to kids who is always picked last in kickball, I was presented with my "what's left" options.  I had 2 choices.  I had the choice of a walking stick that resembled a mechanical pencil and one that looked like a #2 pencil.  And since this was all feeling like a test to me, I chose the #2 pencil.  I guess I shouldn't call it a pencil because by DEFINITION it met the minimum requirements for a walking stick.  I could use this as a walking stick or as a weapon if a squirrel wanted to jump up to me to impress his girlfriend.  With this stick (which I'm grateful to have) the squirrel would be toast! (That theory was never tested but I feel pretty confident of the outcome... I think.)

Now that all of that was out of the way, we decided to head down to the belly of the "baby" BEAST of a mountain. As the Scoutmaster took point I couldn't help but think in my head "One ring to rule them all!"  Unfortunately for this analogy that makes me a hobbit.  Even worse, I'm not even Frodo... I'm Sam.  But hey, there has to be some benefits to being a hobbit that's over 6ft tall.

Stay tuned for Part 2 of this series.