The post I was going to write is better than this one. (Or is it???.... OK. I'll stop.) At least the subject matter is better because this one is about Potty Training (for the 3rd and LAST time). And to all of my friends who are thinking of taking a shot at me for that statement... Yes, yes, yes. After this many decades I have finally decided to learn to use the potty. HA. HA. You are SOOO funny. Now for everyone else... I'm talking about my almost 2-year old.
In my (not so) professional opinion, I think she is ready for this. She's giving all of the signs. (Warning: All of my friends without kids... I'm about to lose you right here. That's fine. I will let you know when it is OK to come back. All of my friends with kids... Well, these signs are all too familiar.)
1. She knows the the words pee-pee and poopie. She can even repeat the phrase, "Pee-pee and poopie in the potty." Of course she is just repeating at this point and hasn't made to true connection to it's meaning. She doesn't know that it means, "Right now... you are pee-peeing and poopie...ing on yourself!" And that's not where that stuff is supposed to go. Oh, sure it's fun. But the novelty wears off very quickly when you get into high school so it's better to take care of this now.
2. She's at the stage where she knows that the act of pooping in public is not smiled at and is often frowned upon in society. We have 3 kids. (Yes, I know DAWN... I'm a rookie! No, DAWN, my wife and I don't need any more! We are happy staying in the minor leagues on this one.) The 2 youngest of the 3 kids LOVE to fight each other. That's the bad news. The good news is that we always know where they are. When they both get quiet we know there's trouble brewing somewhere. But when the youngest is the only one that is quiet, we know there's a different kind of trouble brewing.
She likes to poop in Vegas. I say that because I think she believes that whatever happens in Vegas... stays in Vegas. And Vegas is located in the next room, or behind the love seat, or on there other side of the kitchen table or just any where she thinks no one can see her. She hasn't figured out that when you do the doo in private, the smell follows you in public. And even if you find her in the process of filling her PMP, or Personal Mobile Potty (a diaper for those not getting it) she will deny any knowledge of event as if she was a major league baseball player on trial for steroid use. (And you all know how that always turns out.) Just follow the evidence trail (so to speak) and you will find a dirty diaper and a little girl with that same nanny-nanny-boo-boo-I-know-something-you-don't-know look that I had. The only difference is... I know.
3. She has enough LITERAL intestinal fortitude to NOT poopie in the wet diaper of the morning. Every morning when I'm getting the kids ready, she waits until I change her wet diaper to leave me a soiled one (just so I have to change two). Some might think that it's just the timing of the whole thing. You know... The kid wakes up and after about 5-10 minutes of being awake it's THAT time. To those people I say, "NAY! Thou art wrong!" I have waited longer than the 5-10 minutes on purpose just to see what happens.
(A side note: This is mainly how WE fathers learn. I have learned a many a lesson by mentally thinking, "Let's just wait and see what happens." Most mothers don't typically learn that way. This method has a very high failure rate on the action but also shares a very high "lesson learned" rate.
A side note to the side note: Just because WE fathers learned the lesson does in no way guarantee that we won't try the same thing again at a later date. I know... definition of insanity. Yada, yada, yada. Just deal with it!)
But after waiting forever to see what happens... nothing. She won't do it. If I don't change the wet diaper, she won't go. Then after a long enough time, she'll start pointing at the diaper and saying something that I can only assume means, "Change my wet diaper NOW so I can complete the morning transactions!" Maybe that's why they call it #2 because when you reach THAT age it's how many diapers it takes to get the morning job done.
4. She cuts into daddy time. As if the first 3 weren't enough about me in this whole process, this last one is COMPLETELY about me. She wants to come into the bathroom when I'm in the bathroom. She hasn't figured out that the bathroom is my Throne Room. All of my greatest ideas have in some way started in the Throne Room. No constructive ideas are happening when the little one is in there. I like to sit on the Throne and work on my sudoku puzzles. There's no sudokuing going on. (I'm really upset about that one.) Out of all of the places in a house with kids... the Throne Room is my place of peace and quiet. There's no peace or quiet when the little one is in there.
Not meaning to be rude, but I can't even focus on the task at hand. I have to make sure she's safe and can't destroy the place. She's trying to measure the bathroom with the toilet paper. She wants to put everything (including herself, toys and books) into the tub. She wants to climb on me. She wants to talk to me in baby language. She wants to pull everything off the sink. She wants to cry when daddy can't play right at that moment. (He's busy! Those sudoku puzzles won't work themselves!) Basically it's a lose/lose situation for everyone involved.
(OK. Kidless friends. You can come back now.) I know that kids will reach this all-important milestone at their own pace. I'm not going to push her past her limits. We are going to go at her pace. But I will be going back on the day shift in a month so she needs to hurry up and figure this out... at her own pace, of course.
(Because of the subject matter, I purposefully left out pictures.
You'll thank me later.)
Good luck! I'd say,wait a little more. If she comes into the bathroom while you're in there, climbs in the tub, yanks of her own diaper, and then squeezes out the goods, you know you're ready.
ReplyDeleteOh, I don't miss potty training days at all!!!!! You may try not changing her wet diaper until you have the other kids situated for the morning and then take off the wet one and sit her straight on the potty with the bribe of her favorite treat to keep her busy while she sits for a while. Sing songs, tell stories, do anything to keep her sitting there. Bring a pillow for you to sit on and know that you will be crippled with back pain by the time she's successful.
ReplyDeleteOh so glad those days are gone here. I second WeaselMomma's suggestion. Since she seems to have a regular time for doing the deed, use that to your advantage.
ReplyDeleteAh the joy of relaxing in the shower while you child walks in, waves and then sits down to start the biggest 'number 2' in the world - lovely
ReplyDeleteOooh, you dont scare the kidless. Some of us have baby siblings lol. Some of us have baby siblings that refused to diaper their baby brother and any baby that wasnt their own and were totally unprepared when they had kids. Some of us (ok, maybe its just me), had to TEACH them how to change diapers when the siblings had babies (I consider my brother in law plain ole brother since he has been around since the baby brother was really a baby, we are not from WV)
ReplyDeleteAnd once you get past the training phase, the wiping phase is not much easier LOL
ReplyDeleteHappy 4th!
Yeah, Mercy's a 2 diaper per morning girl, also.
ReplyDeleteWe've started. Dun-dun-dun.
Actually, SHE started. By walking in on me every. single. time. I was in my Mommy ALONENESS Room and plopping her fully diapered bottom onto the closed potty chair next to me. Then her little forehead screwed up, and her face turned colors. "I potty, Mommy! I potty!"
After several of these occurrances, I got the grand idea that she may be ready to potty train. The next time she barged in on me and attempted to climb onto the potty chair, I quickly removed her diaper and lifted her onto it. We pottied in tandem. (Sorry.)
I thought it was a brilliant idea! Effortless potty-training. I congratulated myself on my geniusness.
Until she got up and walked away diaperless while I remained in my seat unable to follow.
She did the deed on the carpeting in the other room.
Lesson learned.
I think she's training me.
Lola's 2 1/2 and we haven't started yet. This is mostly b/c I am not willing to have to clean up "accidents" again, Aidan was enough. and b/c she likes to do everything Big Brother does so she is under the impression that she can stand up and pee. It won't be pretty.
ReplyDelete@Homemaker Man - Thanks man. She does everything except squeezing out the goods. So she's ALMOST ready.
ReplyDelete@WM - That's the next plan of action. Sitting her down between the first diaper off and new diaper on. I will have to figure out what to do with the 4-year old since the little one gets mad when the 4-year old gets to do something she can't do.
@SandyAnnDee - I can't wait for this to be over as well. This is the 3rd and FINAL time! Woo Hoo!
@Glen - LOL! Those are the moments to remember.
@Melissa - I appreciate you offering to potty train our little one. Oh, wait... That's not what your comment was about. Oh, well... Just wishful thinking.
@BellaDaddy - You would be correct, sir. If she's like our middle child, that stage won't last long. The only problem is that she is NOTHING like our middle child. So *ahem* my wife might be in some trouble.
@Missy - HA! Right on the carpet? Now that's funny! Lesson learned, indeed.
@Aurora - I guess having all girls means I don't have to worry about that last part. :)
I promise you, I am laughing WITH you. You're laughing, right?
ReplyDeleteOh, the joys. If it helps at all (doubtful), my son was similar in his approach to pooping in private. The last time he visited Vegas was at a public playground. I turned away from a second and he was gone. I found him behind a slide with a look of concentration on his face that could mean only one thing.
He's almost 15. He still remembers. I make sure he does. ;-D
Actually Que, I wasn't going to suggest you have more kids this time. Although, come to think of it, I may have potty trained my sixth one by saying stuff like, "Change your sister's diaper for me. I'm busy." And I may have possibly promised my teens a new Ferrari for doing that, but I'm sure they've forgotten about it by now. I hope.
ReplyDelete@Lisa - Oh, yeah... Laughing WITH me. Whatever! :) That's funny that your 15-year old still remembers that.
ReplyDelete@Dawn - You know what... We have sheltered our OLDEST from a lot of sisterly responsibility since there was such an age difference between child 1 and Child 2 (7 years). But things are about to change. And when she asks why, I'm going to say because DAWN said so!
My hint was when he was taking off his diaper and wiping it everywhere. That is when the iron fist came into play. Ready or Not he was going to figure it out!
ReplyDeleteBeing a parent of a young kid makes you feel like Oscar the Grouch. Ya can't get peace and quiet, especially when in the can.
ReplyDeleteMy (now 8 year old) daughter would let fly twice EVERY diaper change. The nurses in the hospital (day two) weren't pleased with me when after telling me she was soiled, I would turn around to them and say 'give it a few minutes, she's not done yet'... and sure enough explosion number 2 would happen... I'd raise an eyebrow and say 'Now I'll change her'.
I think I saved a few dozen tonns of landfill by doing it that way.
She was a breeze to night time toilet train.
I was sick that night and Hubby forgot to put her in the night time diaper. We thought we were being robbed but it was just the kiddo heading to the loo. Talk about cake walk. Good luck!
Belinda in Brisbane Australia
@Shelle - That is an awesome hint! I think even I would have noticed the smearing. Well... maybe.
ReplyDelete@belindasbaubles - How dare they not take the word of the mother of the child?!? Don't they understand that you know best? That's pretty funny about thinking you were being robbed and it was just a potty break. :)