Personally, I was beginning to lose faith. My belief in my fellow man was starting to waiver. It even made me go through the 5 Stages of Grief.
Day 1 - Denial - Surely SOMEONE from Wyoming has click on my site. My blogger statistics MUST be wrong. I mean, it says I have all 50 states... Oh, crap... 49 states + DC. But that just doesn't make sense. Maybe, Wyoming is not even a state and I'm just worrying for nothing. Ha! That's what it is. Oh, man... that feels SOOO much better.
Day 2 - Anger - Google needs to get this mess fixed! They SAY Wyoming is a state but on my people-who-have-clicked-on-my-site map there's a blank spot where Wyoming should be. Every OTHER state is shaded green. Why not Wyoming!?!?
Day 3 - Bargaining - If you read part 1, you witnessed the bargaining.
Day 4 - Depression - No one from Wyoming loves me. They are ignoring me as if I'M the one who doesn't exist. I just don't now how I will go on knowing they are there but they won't... just... click on my site. Help me, help you. (I tried a Jerry Maguire quote to Wyoming before and it didn't work. So I decided to try another.)
Day 5 - Acceptance - Fine. I don't need you to complete me. (But I did...)
I was beginning to wonder if the state did, in fact, exist. I kept hearing stories of people who know someone who knows someone that might have been friends with someone who went to college with someone who lives in Wyoming. It was like the 7 degrees of Wyoming!
But on the Great 5th day of my obsession, Wyoming made itself known. With a single click of the mouse, someone poked their head out of their hiding place, saw their shadow and declared there would be 6 more weeks of Summer. Wait... sorry.... WRONG STORY!
But you have to be careful what you wish for. Now that someone has clicked on the site. The Obsession is gone! I mean, sure I'm glad they did. But something is different now. During those 5 days, I was checking EVERY SINGLE TIME someone visited my site to see if they were from Wyoming. Now I don't check any more. :(
I'm sure my friends are happy. Because now I have more time to hang out and do NOTHING with them. I'm sure my boss is happy because I might actually get some work done with all of this free time. My kids must be happy because now daddy can play with them instead of pushing them back by the forehead and telling them to stay away from daddy's computer or face the consequences. I guess my wife is happy now because I had become so obsessed that I couldn't even... well... I'm just going to say that my wife is happier now and leave it at that.
But it is over now and I must move on with my life the best way I can. I will probably pick up a new obsession. Who knows? But before I lay this to rest I wanted to say that I figured out a few things with this experience. There are some things the internet doesn't tell you about Wyoming. Here is what I found out.
- If you ever have to go into the witness protection program, they are probably going to send you to Wyoming. There is very little contact from outside world. Also, the odds of anyone recognizing you are very slim. And if someone finds you in that state, you deserve to be caught.
- If there is ever World War 3 and the missiles start flying all over the place... head to Wyoming. I'm sure there is not a SINGLE missile pointed in their direction. I'm almost sure no other country besides us know they even exist. (Much more secure than NORAD!)
- I was watching the movie Zombieland and realized that if there was ever a zombie invasion or biological communicable disease that simulates zombie-itis then Wyoming is the BEST place to be! There's only a few people there, so they would be easy to avoid. Also, I would imagine the zombies are going to where the "food" is so Wyoming wouldn't even be on the menu for years. There would be plenty of time for Woody Harrelson, Will Smith or Milla Jovovich to find the cure and save the world before it ever reaches you. (This also goes for vampires. You have less time than with zombies but I'm pretty sure you will be safe.)
- And lastly... This state is PRIMED for a supper massive game of Hide and Go Seek! You could literally hide for years without anyone finding you. Make sure you pack a lunch (a few of them actually).
I guess that's it folks. Though it only lasted 5 days, it is still a completed goal that I can mark OFF of my bucket list. I'm gonna miss you Wyoming. Our paths might not ever cross again (except in the case of a zombie attack, World War 3 or a serious game of Hide and Seek that I absolutely plan to win), but I will always remember the good times. I even kept a picture of you for everyone to remember you by.
Before:
It was like someone took the last piece of a jigsaw puzzle and hid it... in Wyoming. |
After:
Ahh... The completeness! DISCLAIMER: No Photoshop was used to complete this goal. |
I am so, so happy for you. But never offer to play me at hide and seek as, it seems, you know all the best hiding places!
ReplyDeleteMy husband wants to move to Wyoming. He's, uh, NOT a people person. Glad the obsession is over! Congrats!
ReplyDelete@Spencer Park - Thanks, man. Hide and Seek is no joke. When you play me, you need to commit or quit. So you are wise to pick and choose your battles.
ReplyDelete@The Mommy - I guess your husband would have loved my post. If you are NOT a people person, then Wyoming is the place to be. If he's seriously considering it, you might want to make sure he's REALLY not worried about a zombie attack. Men hate to admit when they are scared.
I'm so happy for you. Obsessions get in the way of everything. Now don't do that again. For example, you don't need to worry about something silly like...not having a comment from at least one person in each state. :::big evil grin:::
ReplyDelete@SandyAnnDee - Now that was cold. I guess I will start the 5 Stages again. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteI don't want to to worry you, but there are a lot of countries in the world. I bet you haven't collected them all yet!
ReplyDeletehappy obsessing!
Great, no you have me obsessing over where my visitors come from. :)
ReplyDelete@Glen - I don't care what country you are from. That's just MEAN! Of course you have me wondering about that impossible task. I'll get back to ya on that.
ReplyDelete@twistedxtian - Step away from the computer! It's not worth it. Consider yourself warned!
LOL at your Wyoming obsession. My sister used to say "that's one of those big square states that get mixed up in the puzzle"
ReplyDeleteJules
Well, Now that that's over with, what out of the way place will you focus on? I think you should campaign for every country in the world. It could be a small personal blogging mission to get at least one view from every country! HAHA
ReplyDelete@Julesagain - I'm glad I could finally get that off my back... after 5 days. :) And your sister is right. It is a less populated Colorado.
ReplyDelete@Keith Wilcox - I read your blog and I am glad I could inspire you to loft goals. But don't blame me when you are consumed by North Korea!
I was going to ask for proof but you provided it for me.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad Wyoming came through because I was beginning to wonder if I could handle another bargaining (or better yet, begging) session from you.
;)
I blogged on my myspace to ask anyone in the middle of whoop whoop aka Wyoming to drop by and help you out.
ReplyDeleteWish they'd have left a comment so we know who to throw the ticker tape parade for ~because obviosuly they're the only people in Wyoming, they're probably lonely~
Hahaha I'm glad your wife is happier now :-).
ReplyDeleteAnd thanks for the fun facts about Wyoming. I hope I never witness a crime!!
Yay Wyoming! And thanksalot because now I'm a little obsessed over countries visiting my site. I think I'll have to blog about that tonight...
ReplyDeleteHooray! I'll bet it was a school kid who was doing a report about Wyoming. They did a google search and your blog post came up. See, you're educational now!
ReplyDelete