Friday, December 21, 2012

End of the World - The 19th - 22nd Hour

This day has not turned out like I expected.  I'm about ready to call it quits.  I have started taking down my my signs.  No more "MAYAN Safe House Not YOURS" signs.  No more "I survived 12/21/12 and all I got was this lousy sign" signs.  No more "In case of apocalypse knock here" signs.  No more "'I'll give you one guess as to what YOUR civilization and the MAYA civilization have in common.  Please answer before midnight." signs.  This is just the worst!

Yeah, I'm glad the world is still here.  Blah , Blah, Blah! But this is just a wasted day.  And on top of all of that, my family and friends are making fun of me.  They are all posting messages to my social media sites telling me of all of the fun things they are doing and that I'm not.  I'm getting posts and tweets and pics showing and telling me about how big of a mistake I made.

They might be right.

I don't even have the kids with me.  My wife told the kids to come back into the house.  It's past their bedtime and that they can play "fantasy apocalpyse" with daddy tomorrow night.  Now isn't that just a smack in the face!  Oh, well.  Such is life.

Hope is fading.  We have a 2 more hours left.  I have closed my Facebook.  I have subtracted my Google+.  I have muzzled my Twitter.  I have delayed my Instagram.  Basically, all I have left is this blog.  If something does happen there will need to be log of events.  So, I'm still writing if you are still reading.

End of the World - The 16th - 18th Hour

I forgot to play my game of Madden.  Even though the world is going to end I still have a responsibility to the league.  The world can crash in but I don't want to be the holdup of my friends from playing their game.  It was a little tricky.  I wanted to play but I didn't want to be too far away from my safe house.  We are getting too close!  So I had to put the TV back in the house.  But I put in the window like we used to do with Jam Boxes when we would break-dance back in the day.  I had to put the Xbox near the house as well to get a signal.  Then I took my wireless controller about as far away from the XBox and I could toward the entrance of my safe house.  It worked!  And it goes to figure that the last day on earth and I finally win a game.  At least I went out on a good note.

After that was done, I took the TV and XBox back.  And since my wife is still at work I decided to take some other things.  I took some books and videos.  I only took the important ones....

  1. The third book of the Hunger Games Trilogy: Mockingjay.  I HAVE to find out the conclusion of all of this mess in Panem.  I've devoted too much time reading this series to let a little thing like the end of the world stop me now.  I mean, what would Katniss do???
  2. How To Balance A Budget - Brought to you by the members of the US Congress.  This book is FULL of details on how to manage your money.  It even has bonus chapters on how to manage OTHER people's money when you run out of your own.  I know money means nothing in a world of chaos but I want to be prepared.
  3. I downloaded the Gangnam Style video to my phone.  I must learn this dance.  It's not too difficult.  But I can't get it.  Now I have years to get it right.
  4. The Revised How to Win Friends and Influence People - Revision by Kim Jong-il and his son Kim Jong-un.  It does my heart good to see a father and son work together for a book so important as this.  I might cry.
  5. Justin Bieber: Just Getting Started - This is the epitome of memoirs!  The follows the humble start and rise of one of America's greatest icons.  Just reading his gems of wisdom earned through months and months stardom.  I can't wait to read part 2 of the Trilogy when he talks about his 20s.
I think those books should keep me busy for a little while.  I might grab a few more books later.  But right now I'm just focusing on the important things in life.  Things that will pay dividends if I make on the other side of the Apocalypse of 2012.

End of the World - The 14th - 15th Hour

This watching for the end of the world is exhausting.  The sitting around... doing nothing... just waiting.  I want to take a nap but the closer we get to the end of the day the more likely there is something will happen. And just like the first part of The Avengers I might miss it. (Nature called.  I answered.  End of story. But I do have to get the DVD just so I can see what happened during the first 30 minutes of the movie.)

I have surfaced a few times to see what the rest of my friends are doing on their last day.  Almost ALL of them are doing what they would have been doing if the end of the world notion had never came to be.  I feel so bad for them.  They have no idea what is about to come.  They should have listened.  But when the action starts happening I will be the one laughing.  Well, me and the little ones.  Also, my oldest.  She has joined the ranks of the BELIEVERS.  Honestly, I think she didn't have any other plans today so she's gracing us with her presence.  Either way, it's fine.  It's good to have more company here.

I also recruited my dog.  They always say that animals can sense supernatural as well as nature sensitive things like tornadoes, earthquakes and mass extinction.  So I took him in to give me a better warning so I'm not just sitting around in constant anticipation.  Since bringing him down here, though, all he has done is sniff everything and pee on half of the things he's sniffed.  He just lays around licking, scratching or moves around marking territory.  I told him he will not have to compete with other dogs but he just kept in peeing like he doesn't understand a word I'm saying.  So basically... he's acting the same as if nothing is going to happen.  I might need to get another dog.  Mine seems to be broken.  I guess it won't matter in a few hours.

Oh, well.  The nap idea sounds pretty good right now.  If we can just hold the END off a few hours I won't have to be upset that life doesn't have a DVR rewind button.

End of the World - The 10th - 13th Hour

I gave up on the whole kicking the kids out of Eden 2 thing.  For 1, what kind of new world would there be without kids? Also, my wife chose to go to work as if nothing is going to happen.  (She's tempting fate and she's on her own with that.)  And lastly (the most important reason), I kept kicking them out, they kept finding their way back in!  It was crazy beyond words.  Finally, I decided it was just easier to let them stay than to fix all of the issues.

Plus, it was too perfect in here.  I needed something in here to defy me.  I needed something here to tell me NO.  I needed conflict.  I needed my wonderful, beautiful little girls with me. And so I have them. I might intensify the conflict in a little bit because my 7yo is already bored and wants to play XBox. This never works well. She hates losing. I mean REALLY hates losing. And I never let her win. I'm too competitive. So is she. She even gets mad at me when we play a game on the SAME TEAM and I score more points... for BOTH of us.  So it's just a BAD idea all around. Almost as bad as me packing Raisin Bran in my enclosed safe house. But I'm going to throw caution to the wind with this Xbox thing as well as the Raisin Bran (different wind with the Raisin Bran though).

We'll see how this goes.

End of the World - The 3rd - 9th Hour

Ummm.... What had happened was... I was watching, waiting and listening for any signs of doom.  I diligently checked my processes.  I did test runs of my emergency procedures.  I worked on everything I had been preparing for to make sure nothing went wrong when the time came.

Then I fell asleep.

But that single act gave me some perspective on the whole ordeal.  Because some way or some how my 4yo  found a way into the safe house!  How do little kids do this???  She came in asking me for some food.  I spent all of this time and money to make an impenetrable fortress (at least that's what it said on the kit) to survive the end of of the world and I was duped by a 4yo.  Either I did a very poor job or 4yos are above planning and ignore processes and procedures completely! I'm thinking the latter.

Whatever it is I need to fix it soon.  Because, as my old high school principal used to say, a chain is only as strong as its weakest link.  And my 4yo has exposed a weak link somewhere.  And this issue is like a levee.  First there's a trickle then there is a deluge! First the 4yo (trickle) got in then the 7yo (deluge).

I'm going to work on this issue.  Just like in the first Eden, there are no children in Eden 2.  I will keep you posted.  But first, apparently, I have to fix some kids some breakfast. Smarshmellows (that's not a typo) and bacon.

End of the World - The 2nd Hour

AGAIN... another false alarm.  So I'm back at the main house again using the internet as if an ELE (Extinction Level Event) is not knocking on our door.  What is going on here???  All of the signs were there. We've had some major signs.  We've had some devastating floods.  Still no end of the world.  We've had some major earthquakes.  Still no end of the world.  We've had Obama re-elected... and despite secular  opinion... Still no end of the world.  All of the signs are in place!  What's up?!?

I'm still not willing to give up on this.  I really just came back to the house to grab my XBox and the family TV.  Yet again, another slight oversight in my safe house.  (The wife and kids are going to be completely surprised when they wake up in the morning.  If there's a world to wake up to.)  I must stay the course.  I will have to move forward if I'm to make sure the human race is to survive such a crossroads in the history of known life.

It is currently quiet but I feel this is the calm before the storm.  I'm not only grabbing the TV and the XBox, I'm also taking some Ramen.  When I left for college just *ahem* 2 short years ago, my parent gave me a microwave (crap, I need to grab the family microwave) and some Ramen.  That stuff NEVER goes bad!  My parents knew that.  And since I can't stockpile Twinkies (darn you Hostess!!!) I guess I will have to settle for Ramen for my long-term meal solutions.  (My second choice was Raisin Bran.  But after the last few days of eating Raisin Bran... I don't think my new living situation is prepared for such a action-reaction type of food.)

Either way, I have to get this stuff and run.  The wife and kids (or as I shall refer to them as the NONBELIEVERS) might wake up with all of the noise I'm making.  I'm trying to be quiet but wires, cables and plastic wraps on food are not cooperating.  Hopefully (or not???) this will be my last post as all of my hard work will come to fruition.  See ya on the other side, Mayas!

End of the World - The 1st Hour

Well... That was a little disappointing.  I mean that in a good way.  It was sorta anticlimactic.  I was expecting explosions and natural fireworks and floods and wind (we DID get wind) and hail and tornadoes and thunder and lightning.  And.... nothing.  I should be happy about that.  But that means all of that money I spent building the safe house underground with a steel plated titanium shell just went down the drain.  So, I'm actually a little upset.  I'm probably more upset with myself because with everything I put into the safe house I forget to equip it with the internet.  I had to leave the safe house just to write this.

I was a little worried leaving my new home I dubbed Eden 2.  But since I didn't hear or feel anything I figured it was ok to run all the way back to the main house to get on the internet.  I still think the Maya were right but maybe they are on a 1hr delay.  Which is possible if the calendar maker was distracted by nature or BC bar fight or if they were watching the season finale of The Voice.  So I will give them a little leeway.  But they'd better start the show soon.  I gave up new cars, fancy vacations and my kids' dental work (where do you think I got the titanium from) just build this room and protect what is mine.  SO something better happ...

What was that? Ok.  I'm going to leave now.  I need to get back into my safe room.  I just heard a noise and I don't want to take any chances.  I will keep all of those who heeded the warnings and built their safe houses informed.

HAPPY EOTWD (End Of The World Day)!!!

Thursday, December 20, 2012

End of the World - Prequel

I haven't posted in a while.  I just haven't been inspired to peck my thoughts through my keyboard.  But I figured... the world is going to end tomorrow!  So, I'd better get in and write SOMETHING!!!  I mean, what do you do at a time like this?  Do you curl up into a ball and cry your way though the impending doom of the world?  Do you go out and take what precious minutes you have and try to change the world (even though you've had YEARS to do so and didn't change anything then)?  Each of us will sign out differently.  I have chosen to write. (Brave... I know!)

Some of you out there are saying, "You know that's not going to happen.  It's already 12/21/12 in other countries like Japan, Australia, China, Israel, UK, all of Africa, an pretty much everywhere except the Americas (North, Central and South)."  So those skeptics... Poo on you!  Didn't know you know the Maya Civilization was on CST time???  That means we only have about 45 minutes as I'm writing this.  But instead of speculating what MIGHT be, I've decided to chronicle this last day of existence on what IS.  So I will post as often as I can.  I will brave this one day!  I will make sure those of you who can hear the sound of my voice (or read my blog) will know that I'm still around.  And I will be here as long as the earth continues to spin!  I will be here as along as 4 horses of the Apocalypse are still in their stables.  I will be here as long as my wife doesn't make me clean anymore just in case the world makes it another day.  (I'm still upset about that one.  It the last day of the world and what do I have to do... CLEAN!!!)

Anyway, I'm going to my safe place to wait out these last 40 minutes of life.  I hope to see each of you on the other side.